![]() ![]() ![]() Recently he has not been as interested in sex, which is not very normal for him but I figured it was spring and we all need some vitamin D. My husband and I (both mid-30s) and have been married almost 10 years and have an elementary school child. I look forward to being a mother but I don’t know if our relationship is healthy or worthy enough to bring a child into the mix. ![]() I’m just so hurt, lost, anxious and truly just sad. Part of me wants to run away, part of me wants to pretend it’s all okay, part of me wants to be what he’s lusting after, part of me wants to confront him and part of me wishes we never got married. I also feel trapped that I have no where to go, no financial ground to stand on and our daughter will be here in a few weeks. Now that I find he’s subscribed to these other women who are fit and voluptuous in all the right places has me even more down in the dumps. I even began to blame my pregnancy and think he’s thinking this way or asking these thing because I’m unattractive when pregnant. I’ve even considered body modifications and alterations after the pregnancy in hopes I keep his attention. Since that conversation I have been having very low self esteem and have been trying to please him as much as possible so he doesn’t find another woman. We have been together for 7 years and married for almost 9 months, l got pregnant a month before our wedding. I replied that I still would not be happy with it and that I thought we were on the same page when it came to our relationship and being monogamous. I told him that was not something I would be happy about, his response was what if he didn’t tell me. He’s asked me a few months before about what if he wants to sleep with other women he would be upfront about it and that it would be purely for pleasure and he wouldn’t get them pregnant. ![]() After all that, I find he’s paying $50 monthly of “our” money to other women when he gets mad at me for letting the water run until it gets hot for a shower or to wash the dishes or forgetting to turn off a light when I leave a room. He was adamant about how even though the checks he brings home has his name, the money is “ours” for “our future” and not just for him. As much as I enjoy the plan to stay at home and agreed it would be best for our family, I’ve always been someone who works and to not have my own income is very stressful and new to me. I had left my job last week for maternity and plan to stay at home with the baby while he goes to work each day. We just had a discussion the other day about our finances and wasting money with a baby on the way. Porn isn’t really a bother to me as I’ll watch porn too, but to pay another person money for their porn/sex work really is something I can’t agree with when you are in a serious relationship such as a monogamous marriage. We still have sex when he wants but I’m not the one to typically initiate it since I don’t have the libido or energy (physically or mentally) to do so. I know he has a much higher sex drive than I’ve had throughout the pregnancy and especially now that I’m uncomfortable just simply moving around the house doing daily tasks. Then did what us women do best, did googling and an internet deep dive into the women he’s subscribed to. I found out by seeing a text from his bank confirming the charges. I found out today that my husband has an onlyfans account and has subscribed to a handful of followers. Looking for advice, clarity, opinions, thoughts, experiences, anything… ![]()
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